Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
