he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
