I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize