Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
