Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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