You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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