you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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