I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
