Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
