Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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