He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
