Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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