Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
