My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
