Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
