Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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