I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
