Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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