We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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