Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
