Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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