is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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