I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
