Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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