We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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