Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I bet he comes in French.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
