i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
