you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
