saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
