i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I haven't been this sober since birth.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
