it hurts more in the daytime
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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