Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
