I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
