peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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