I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
