Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
