then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
