Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
