why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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