I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
