I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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