Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
40s are totally the cure
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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