Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
