I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
