The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
