the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
