Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
