I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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