THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
