I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize