Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
