If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
and she was petting her beer can
pop tarts are not kleenex
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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