Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
