Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
