did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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