when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
