He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
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