I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
