yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
