he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize