Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
