i need an iv and a liver transplant
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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