Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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