life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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