i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
