I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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